Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Transforming Unhappiness

Does it make you feel Good or Bad? 
by Sophie Skover

There is a very simple (maybe not easy), but a simplified way to begin to shift your unhappiness and start living a happier life.  All you have to do is start with the question: does it make you feel good or bad?  In terms of your day to day mind frame, start checking in to see how you are feeling about what you spend your time doing or thinking about.  Next, see if it makes you feel good or bad.  If it makes you feel good, carry on!  If it makes you feel bad, however, find a way to change it.  So the process goes:  
  • Does it make you feel good or bad? 
  • If it makes you feel bad: 
    • stop doing it, eliminate it from your life, if that is not an option
    • change the way you see it, or
    • edit the thought to find empowerment. 

-Here are some examples of this process-

Eliminate it from your life:
"My house is a mess, but I cannot get rid of anything because it was given to me or means something to me."
Oh clutter.  This can actually be a great place to start.  Clutter is one of those things that can just accumulate overtime, and ends up weighing you down.  Cleaning out your spaces is a great way to feel uplifted or even temporarily happy!  Begin to de-clutter your space by starting with one thing.  Simply look at that specific object and ask yourself if it makes you feel good or bad.  If it makes you feel good, keep it.  If it makes you feel bad however, find a new home for it, or pass it on to someone who would love it. Most importantly get it out of your space, and keep things around you that make you feel good.  

Change the way you see it:
"All I want is to meet my soul mate, but cannot seem to find anyone I click with."
We all have these kind of thoughts at one point or another. You know the ones I am talking about: the thoughts that make you think you are talking about what you want, but are ultimately making you feel unhappy.  When asked, does this thought make you feel good or bad, even though it sounds like a desire, the answer was: "it makes me feel bad."  The next step is to shift this same thought to an empowering one: "I believe I have desires for a reason, my desires are whispers from God that lead me to my ultimate purpose.  Therefore, I believe I am worthy of finding a great partner who I connect with. I choose to keep the faith."  

"I don't want to cold call and bother this person, if they needed something they would contact me, it's a waste of time."
Cold calling! NO.  Who wants to cold call, or get a COLD call, probably no one.  But what about a warm call?  I wouldn't mind a warm call.  A warm call is reaching out to another fellow human who is sharing in this same human experience and connecting by asking questions, providing valuable answers and most importantly sharing the essence of Namaste.  No matter your industry, try to have an open heart in the work you do, give YOUR best, and good luck with your warm Namaste calls!  

Edit the thought and find empowerment : 
"I'm too tired to do the dishes and put my clothes away."
If thoughts or activities make you feel bad, tired or lazy, think about how you will feel after you have completed them.  Will you feel good after it is done?  If the answer is yes, then these chores become an opportunity to work through and see the end result.  There are always going to be things that we have to do, which we may not view as enjoyable, but maybe there is enjoyment in some part of the process.  That is what you want to look for.  Once you find it, then you practice the "good old fashioned push yourself through it until you are on the other side" technique. This thought can transform to: "I find the energy to complete my chores, because I love feeling good upon their completion."  

"I am so frustrated that I can't say what I am really thinking or feeling, professionally or personally? 
It has been expressed that we live in a society where we are encouraged to repress our thoughts and feelings.  Sometimes this can look like we are repressing our honesty and sincerity.  However, I challenge you to look at this from a different angle.  Have you ever heard the saying: "it is not your message, it is your delivery."  The WAY we say things is so important, and I am a huge advocate for speaking your truth, always with the intention of helping others.  The number one rule is, know your audience.  A DJ needs to know his audience, a minister needs to know her audience, and I encourage you to know yours by becoming aware of who is in front of you.  This awareness will guide you.  Next, find your inner truth and look to see if it has the power to hurt others.  If so, I would encourage you to do a bit more internal seeking until you inwardly discover a message that will empower the whole situation.  I am by no means saying this is easy, but it comes down to having an authentic voice, and learning how to share that with others in a way that can be effectively received.  This thought can transform to: "I am willing to discover my truth and learn how to share it in a loving way that empowers others." 

You don't have to be unhappy, so remember to stop and check in to see if there is a way you can eliminate or change this state from your life. Whatever you do, from this point forward, first check in with yourself and see if your thoughts, ideas, dreams, items, activities or desires, make you feel good.  It is simple, if you are thinking thoughts that lead you to feel bad, become aware and then make a change!

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